TWiST Twitter

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Time Square, Here I Come!

Well, for those of you who don't know, I signed up last week for the Netflix Movie Watching World Championship, where contestants had to enter a 3 minute video on why they should be the eighth and final competitor in their Guinness Record breaking championship in Time Square. The current record to break is 120 hours and the winner gets their name in Guinness, $10,000 and the golden popcorn trophy. I sent in a quick video of me doing my best impression of "me"(of which you can see here) and I guess they liked it! From Facebook:

I know! Totally exciting!!! This means that Netflix is sending me out to New York next Wednesday night, putting me up here, and Thursday morning at 10:30, I make my way out to a plexiglass box in the center of Time Square and start watching movies until I can't anymore. here are the facts that I know so far:

  • Free catering (breakfast, lunch, dinner)
  • 60 inch TV
  • I can't take my eyes off the screen during the film
  • I get a 10 minute break in between movies
  • I'm allowed to pick 5 films to be added in the playlist (which I've already chosen)
  • Possible celebrity drop-offs each day.
This is easily one of the most exciting things I've ever done, and I CAN'T WAIT!!! I'm currently in some deep training with friends and family. First is endurance: I'm attempting to stay up from 10am Wednesday morning to Sunday morning when I get home from work. I'm currently approaching hour 20, and feeling good! Next training will be on focus, as I'm going to be in the busiest place on the planet and unable to take my eyes off of the screen! Feel free to stop by while I'm still in Time Square next week, provided I haven't passed out just yet. Lots of exciting things happening, and hopefully next time you hear from me, I'll have $10,000 in my pocket!!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

What Went Wrong with "The Incredible Hulk"

So, by now I’m sure you’ve seen the new Hulk Film, and either left the theater with a feeling of sheer excitement, a la about 2 in the afternoon on any given child’s Christmas Day. Or, option B, in which you left the theater with a feeling of emptiness and a longing for something more, much like I did. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed The Incredible Hulk as much as the next avid comic/movie buff, but the final fight scene left me with a complete lack of fulfillment, and I wasn’t sure why, until now.


In writing (though more commonly used in comedy) there is an element called a callback, in which a joke or plot point is set up and then referenced in future parts of the piece to get the audience to feel more intoned with the story, or in the case of comedy, to get as many laughs out of one joke. The closest thing you can relate a callback to in a more serious piece would be minor foreshadowing.


The film sets the audience up in the first 10 minutes with a callback in which Banner is teaching himself Portuguese on and learns the word for “hungry”. We then know he later uses this on a variation of the famous “Don’t make me angry” line. So already we know that Penn (or Norton) is aware of how a callback or foreshadowing works. This could have made this film, or at least the final fight sequence, a 10 out of 10 for me. What was so bad about the fight? I’ll tell you.


The final fight sequence, while certainly impressive, was barely Incredible. In almost every hero film’s big finish, we need to get a moment where our hero goes above and beyond what we’ve seen in the first 90 minutes, to overcome the “big boss” and do the impossible. And as most Hulk enthusiasts know, the angrier Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets. Instead, we get a bruised and battered Hulk that outmaneuvers his foe in what one could call almost a lucky takedown. Which is why I propose the next three options to you, the fans. And if actually I feel the fight sequence could have become truly Incredible.


A.) In the very beginning of the film, we see that Banner is learning Jujitsu as a technique to calm his heart rate, thus not Hulking out and killing everybody. This was referenced once in the alley in Brazil, where Bruce throws a few guys around, but ultimately gets his ass kicked. And in New York, when Betty flips out on the cab driver, a witty line about “teaching her some breathing techniques” was used. If in the fight, when Hulk was being pummeled into the brick wall, we were to cut to his stomach as he was doing the exercises we saw from the beginning of the flick, this would have been a more clever way to show that Hulk and Banner have learned to coexist, rather than throwing in the silly “Bett…ty?” line from Hulk.


B.) In one of Banner’s dreams/flashback, we are shown the beginning of the Gamma test that inevitably births our hero. A worried Betty Ross looks in to the test subject Banner and he to her. He then gives a subtle wink letting her know he would be OK. Back to the fight sequence, when Betty was in the chopper watching Hulk get his green ass handed to him, and then looks to her. Right here, if we were to get a subtle wink from the Hulk to Betty, not only would that serve the same purpose as Option A, but also reference a cute moment from earlier in the flick.


C.) Finally, right before his big fight, Banner is induced with an essential “cure” by Tim Blake Nelson, and again: the only time this is referenced is in one line when Banner is falling out of the chopper. I understand we are supposed to believe the cure never actually took effect, but if they were to use it as a way to explain why Hulk was loosing three-quarters of the fight, it would have worked better. Again, when Hulk is down and almost out against the brick wall, we could have simply gotten a zoom in to his blood cells (a la the beginning of the film, under the microscope) and see the gamma cells burst, killing the “cure” and becoming stronger, allowing Hulk to take out his foe with no problem.


While these are obviously none of the directions that the studios/director/writers went in, I feel like they could have made this film that much better, and probably put it on par with the ingenuity as its bigger brother, Iron Man. Though I suppose, there’s always the DVD.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Favorite things of the week




Ninja Gaiden 2 Demo


Want to get out some hardcore aggression on a bunch of diligent ninjas? Well play through this demo (it will take you about a half hour) and you will certainly feel a little bit better about the dick who stole your parking space at the mall earlier that day. Fuck him.









Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor

Granted, I'm like a decade behind the rest of the world here, but this book kicks ass. For those of you not in the loop: it starts backwards (both in page numbers and chapters) and starts off with a guy telling his life story to an airplane's black box while its on the verge of going down. Heavy stuff by the guy that wrote the likes of Fight Club and Choke.





The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.

I know, another thing I'm almost 20 years late on. I just Netflixed the first disc of the series. Holy Shit. If you love poignant, vaudevillian puns and a good western action series, you will love this show. Started in 93 by two guys (one of which went on to write for LOST and another who wrote "The Phantom" with Billy Zane. I know.) This was just a whole lot of fun. Bruce Campbell of course plays the exact same cheeky character he's played since he started acting, and I love it. A definite buy for anybody who loves TV and campy westerns.




The first hour and a half of Incredible Hulk

I caught an advance of this on Tuesday. I'm probably knocking the flick harder than I should here, but I'm a fan, so fuck you. This film was great fun, but could have been way more clever than they (studios/Letierrer/Norton/Penn/Your mom) allowed it to be. You can check out the full poop on it over here at comicmix or once you see the flick, come back here for a forthcoming "what they could have done to save the picture" post.





Bonus!!

Least favorite thing this week
:

"Home" by Daughtry

I filled in on mid days this week over at Star 99.9 and we have a contest going where if you hear this song played twice in a row, be caller blahblah and you win $1K in gas money. This means one of several things:

1. Every time the song was even played, within the first 10 bars, the phones light up with morons asking "if they won". to which I reply "how many times did you hear it?" and the retort "oh, damn". Once, I even got a "fuck you! *click*" which totally made my day working for a station that prides itself on our "middle-aged housewives" demographic.

2. Any time anything by Daughtry or even songs that sound like daughtry are played, phones light up with more morons. To which I ask the same question, they giggle, and hang up. Or i end up getting in a "whose on first" style dialogue with them on "who that tim daltry guy is, and what he sings??"

3. Whenever I solicit the contest and mention the number, dozens--no exaggeration--DOZENS of people call to make sure that "the number is right". The number is 1800-330-9999. How hard is that? I'm pretty sure outside of your house number and 911, that has got to be one of the easiest numbers to remember in the book. (outside of 555-5555 or Jenny's number)

In conclusion, i now convulse when I hear "Home" played anywhere at anytime. So, thanks Chris.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Movies of 2008

OK, I'm really kind of tired of this. Here we are almost SMACK in the middle of 2008, which is supposed to be one of the biggest years for films in a while, but so far things have either been AMAZING or just awful. I believe it comes down to a science in "Every Great Movie we get; it needs to be answered by 5 Terrible Films". That is not a good ratio for filmgoers, trust me. Case in point:

Cloverfield to Doomsday, Drillbit Taylor, Never Back Down, Jumper, 10,000 BC

Iron Man to Speed Racer, Forbidden Kingdom, The Strangers, Redbelt, and sadly, Indiana Jones 4


Why can't we revert to the days when films were still bad, but at least watchable. I can barely count the times I catch myself yelling at the screen and how it has tricked me into wasting yet another 2 hours of my life. At this rate, the next 12 big films have to be OUTSTANDING in order for this ratio to be balanced, and I still have a shred of faith.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Shreks in the City

I'm tired about all this buzz about Sex in the City's movie. Considering the downer trailer only brought us two things: Terrible puns about feminine hygiene and pug-faced Sarah Jessica Parker giving more girls between the ages of 21 and 41 a reason to be single "because Carrie Bradshaw is right! Men ARE the devil!". Come on!

This franchise gives/has always given guys a bad name, by making it OK for girls to be depressingly single while a totally reasonable opportunity is staring at them in the face while they serve me my Latte every Tuesday at Starbucks. Just a shame. Because of pug-girl and the rest of her sect, every mildly attractive girl who gets HBO or owns a DVD player no longer becomes a spinnster, but rather a "cougar", whatever the hell that means.

Oh and topping off each episode with a voice over and writing your thoughts into a computer? Please. I was into that when 15-year-old NPH was doing it on his Windows P.O.S. Word.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Welcoming myself to the world of BLOG!

I like to consider myself a pretty opinionated guy, so finally I can let all of the evil thoughts pour out to a medium where more than the person next to me at the bus stop can hear. Enjoy!